Weekly Happiness Note August 15, 2024

How to Stay Standing in Your Truth Around Difficult People and Circumstances

Happy Thursday! 🌞

Do you find it hard to be unbothered by difficult people or circumstances? Is it challenging for you to stand in your truth when the environment around you feels less inviting or calm? If so, you’ll want to check out this week’s happiness note dropping Thursday: 'How to Stay Standing in Your Truth Around Difficult People and Circumstances.’ In it, I share a few of my favorite practices to feel less bothered during life’s storms.

Check out this week's note, including a weekly planning framework for August 19th - August 25th. ❤ Emily

Here is a short 90-second video that highlights this week’s topic, and for the rest, subscribe below:

This Week’s Featured Topic:

How to Stay Standing in Your Truth Around Difficult People and Circumstances

It’s easy to be ourselves and speak our truth when surrounded by like-minded people.

It’s natural to feel at home with who we are when life around us is all smooth sailing.

But what about when we are confronted with the difficult people in our lives? You know the peeps I’m talking about. The ones you feel unhinged around within the first few minutes of being in their company. The ones you can think of and immediately feel the heat rise as you recall what they said or did. Around our trigger people, it can feel challenging to stay on our highest path.

And then what about all of the injustices in the world? How do we stand strong in our truth when what’s fair and right isn’t what’s unfolding around us? How do we hold onto our truth when we witness tragedies that are hard to wrap our minds around?

It seems the real question is how we hold on to who we are in the moments when everything seems to be falling apart around us.

Clearly, there isn’t an easy answer or solution to this sizable question and position we all face at some point.

The truth is, there are lots of answers that can help. Perhaps building a resilient spirit is the key. Or maybe shutting off all of the noise will bring relief. It might be a strong sense of faith in a higher power that helps us hold on during hard times. It could be taking a stand and fighting for justice that helps us stay firmly grounded. And maybe a combination of all the above will help us stay standing in our truth.

But when we are in the thick of the storm, what can we do in the moment to ease the load?

When we are standing before that challenging person, and they make that underhanded comment, or they do that thing that triggers us, and we begin to come unglued, what can we do right then to stay standing in our truth?

Let’s start by looking at what standing in our truth means.

I like to view standing in my truth as staying firmly rooted in who I am, rooted as though I am a wise old oak tree.

You see, a wise old oak tree is exposed to all the elements at unexpected moments throughout its lifetime. Over time, the tree will undoubtedly become worn and weathered. Yet, as long as it’s living, it stays firmly rooted in being a tree. It all sounds a bit silly. What else could it be?

It doesn’t matter if children climb the tree or swing from its branches. Nothing changes if birds and squirrels make the tree their home.

These outside elements are simply part of the tree’s story and history. The tree is still firmly planted in the ground, no matter what is happening around it or to it.

During a lightning storm, the tree doesn’t attempt to hide what it is or pretend to be something it isn’t. Instead, the tree sways with the winds and storms, knowing its roots go much deeper than what’s happening on the surface.

If it’s helpful to imagine you’re rooted in your truth, much like a wise old oak tree – then do that. In the meantime, here are three additional practices I use to stay standing in my truth when it feels hard to do so. If they speak to you, try them next time you feel untethered in one of life’s storms.

1. Connect

As human beings, we are meant to connect with other human beings. Our humanity is the common thread that connects us all (yes, even to the difficult people). When we encounter people we feel triggered by, we have a choice. We can choose to see the person before us with all of their strengths and weaknesses as a human being just like us. Or we can choose to continue focusing on all of the reasons why we don’t feel good around them.

If focusing on the positive doesn’t feel like the right choice, that’s okay, too. Another option is to take a deep, intentional breath into seeing yourself as a human being with strengths and weaknesses, as a person worthy of standing exactly where you are, regardless of who or what is before you.

When we realize who we are never wavers, it’s easier to stand strong and protect the truth of who we are. We can connect inward and find comfort in our rootedness. We can also disconnect from our truth, which usually causes us to feel at a deep loss. Either way, our truth always exists below the surface; we can tether to it if we choose.

Whether we connect to our truth or not, challenging people and circumstances will be part of our life journey. The greater the challenge, the greater the lessons and growth we receive.

With practice, we can experience the difficult people and situations before us as strange gifts wrapped up in weird little bows, here to add something unexpected and colorful to our life adventure.

2. Create Rituals

Humans are naturally drawn to rituals and customs that help them feel rooted in something meaningful.

We can create our own toolbox of unusual and wonderful rituals to draw on when we feel unhinged. For example, when I know I’m walking into a situation with potential triggers, I wear something that will be a physical reminder to breathe and hold space. Sometimes, holding space is about the other person. It’s about making room for the other person to be in their truth, no matter how messy or offensive it can seem. It’s about witnessing that person without attaching to their stories. Other times, it’s about holding space for myself, putting a protective barrier around me, and feeling held together in what can feel like shark-infested territory.

The idea behind rituals is to create your own so they are personally meaningful and accessible when you need them most. Your rituals could revolve around setting intentions or wearing something that reminds you to stay rooted in who you are. They might involve mantras or a word that reminds you of the essence of your truth. They could also involve something you do that connects you to your faith and belief in a higher power. There is no right or wrong way to create your rituals.

The more significant point is to get to know yourself really well so you can be your best resource during trying times. Create a list with all of your sources of joy and support. Get well-versed in knowing what rituals and support are helpful to you. What is your source of faith? What are your core values? Name the essence of your values so it’s easier to remember them when you’re floundering and need a quick way to find your ground.

There is no end to what you could add to your list or how you create your rituals. They could be related to sight, sound, smell, being in nature, taking three deep breaths, doing five jumping jacks, and wiggling your ears. I don’t know. It’s your list. Make it as wonderfully weird as you are. Make it stick.

3. Tap Into Humor

Laughing something off doesn’t make it go away, but it feels good to laugh from the depths of who we are.

Sometimes, bad things happen to all kinds of good people. It’s hard to make sense of the hard stuff with our minds and our hearts—trying to apply logic to illogical circumstances only dampens our spirits. Without a reprieve, we can lose faith in life's magic.

The only way through really hard times is to get through—it takes time and is a process. Being gentle with ourselves is a must. Another must is to carve out spaces that feel right to find our humor and have a good laugh with our special people.

My dear friend Angela and I have a quirky tradition when one of us is down or processing something that feels challenging. Without many words, we text each other videos and reels. The more outrageous, the better. Anyone looking in would seriously question our good sense, but that matters very little. What does matter is the roars of laughter that cause streams of tears from our comical exchanges. Humor lightens the mood, and sharing a good laugh with a good friend is a sure way to remember who you are at your core.

Of course, sharing a laugh in person is even better. And thankfully, I have weird friends like me who love to laugh as much as I do!

In all seriousness, though, I think many of us (myself included) take too many things to heart in a serious way. There is a time and place for being serious, sad, angry, scared, and grieving. Those are all real human experiences and emotions that need to be felt in order to move through.

Sometimes, we need a little reminder that we can use humor to find our light amidst the dark.

A little humor goes a long way.

❤ Emily

This Week’s Quote:

Limited on time or don’t feel like reading

Check out this week’s Video instead:

Planning for Next Week📝:

Use the framework below to plan your upcoming week: August 19th - August 25th. Some people like to map out their forthcoming week on Friday to ease into the weekend, knowing they are ready to hit the road running on Monday. Others (like myself) have a Sunday planning ritual. Do what works best for you. Over the years, in supporting many people in their planning and goal-setting, it seems to work best to pick a day of the week that’s easy to stick to so that your weekly planning becomes a habit and ritual.

What are your wins? Before you organize the upcoming week, ‘August 19th - August 25th’, reflect on the week you are wrapping up. What are your wins (big or small)? What is something you are grateful for? What have you learned about yourself this week? Record your reflections in your journal or the Notes section of the Planner Printout. Feel free to comment below (others in this community will also be able to see your comment) or hit reply to this note and share directly with me.

Planner PDF printout: This printout is from the ‘Fall in Love with Your Life, Seasonal Planner’ and will give you the framework and planning system to help you organize your upcoming week: The week of August 19th - August 25th. Click here to access. You will need to enter a password to open the PDF. It’s in all caps: FILWYL

Accountability: If you’d like an accountability check-in to support you in making the weekly planning ritual a regular habit, just hit reply to this email after you’ve organized your week and let me know you’re organized and complete. Feel free to share your weekly intention/power word. I’m always happy to be the check-in support and would love to celebrate your wins.

Instructional Video: Get free access to this mini 20-minute video course. It will show you how to easily use the ‘Fall in Love With Your Life, Seasonal Planner’ method of organizing your week. Go here to access the free video course.

Priorities: What are your top three priorities for the upcoming week? What are some of the daily ways you will prioritize yourself? Remember to balance your energy output with energy input. Think: What has been energizing me lately? What has been draining my energy?

Connect with Nature: In matching this week’s theme around the wise old oak tree, get outdoors and notice the trees around you. Better yet, get up close and notice the bark and small details on the tree’s trunk. Place your hand on the tree and see if you notice anything.

Journal reflection points prompted by nature: How does viewing yourself as rooted to the ground like a wise oak tree support you?

Or come Share in our Facebook Group

Share your intention for the week of August 19th - August 25th. What are you calling in? What is your power word/phrase?

Or come Share in our Facebook Group

Disclaimer: The advice and strategies this newsletter shares are for informational purposes only and do not constitute professional advice. While we strive to provide accurate and useful information, we cannot guarantee outcomes or be held liable for any consequences resulting from using or misusing the information provided. We encourage you to seek professional advice or consult with qualified experts for specific guidance related to your particular needs.